What would they win anyway? Completely invalidating you? They can try all they want - but just because they argue doesn’t mean they win (remember #1). They can try to argue against your feelings, by telling you that you shouldn’t have them, you’re being unreasonable, your being illogical or irrational, you’re too sensitive, or you’re overreacting. They have a right to only think for themself. They have a right to not be considerate of you in that moment. When someone doesn’t like hearing what you think… and what you feel - let them. Your feelings exist whether or not someone tries to argue them into nonexistence. So the most serious interpersonal disputes are resolved through arbitration, not argument. The point is, the jury makes the decision - because it isn’t directly involved in the argument. Whether or not that jury is “right” is a whole different story. But even then, your lawyer’s not going to war, but to court. For more serious interpersonal disputes, you can hire a lawyer, who’s trained to defend your legal rights. Most of time, you can solve your problems with other people directly. You end up miscommunicating your feelings because you decided to use your words as weapons, instead of magic. If you work well with your emotions and are crafty enough, you can shift arguments into meaningful, intimate, constructive conversations.īut most of the time, arguments just turn things into bigger problems and you end up saying what you don’t really mean. Arguing perpetuates conflictįor the same reasons that no one wins an argument, arguing only adds more tension to conflict. More likely, it means that they’ll get even more upset because you shut them down, or worse - they’ll avoid you, resent you, or be passive aggressive in revenge. Even if you make better points and counter each of theirs - that doesn’t mean you’ll convince them that you won. So when you argue with someone and you think you can win or that you have won… think about it more carefully. The country may have voted in one candidate’s favor - but loyal supporters of the opponent will hold strongly to their version of how victory went down.

But in the end, neither candidate wins - because there are no judges, no standards, no rules. Presidential debates stir up the media, and people love to vote on which candidate performed better. Who doesn’t want to be right? Have the last word? Be the meanest and sharpest and smartest with their words?Īrgument is usually corrosive to healthy relationships, and here are six reasons why you never need to win one: 1.

6 reasons why you need a budget